Moleman's Epic Rap Battles 4: Gadget Hackwrench Vs Penelope
by Moleman9001
Summary: Two ingenious female mice match wits in the fallout of some very recent events involving one of them. But is that all? Could someone else be lying in the shadows, waiting to join in and steal the show?


**VIDEO HERE: watch?v=z9NEqJiTrzM**

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**MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!**

**THE BLACK BARON…**

**…VS…**

**…GADGET HACKWRENCH!**

**BEGIN!**

**Gadget:**  
Okay, seriously? Again? I mean, _really_?  
We've been through this before. We all know it's you, Penelope.  
What's with you and disguises? Are you some sort of schizo?  
In any case, crazy or not, you're a dirtier rat than Rizzo.  
I'll get the obvious out of the way; better to say it now than later:  
Just like Peter "Scabbers" Pettigrew, you're a no–good little traitor!  
You sold out your only friends in the world… to a _skunk_.  
Are you dense? Are you brainwashed or something? Are you drunk?  
No, I'm convinced you're just an _idiot_, plainly and simply.  
You're rightfully hated, whereas people freaking _worship_ me!  
You may have numerous skills, but they won't matter at all  
When I chuck my namesake straight into your face like _"Dodgeball"_!  
No Sly trick of yours will work against _this_ opponent.  
Don't you know who I am? I'm the MacGyver of rodents!  
I'll Sucker Punch you back to the Dark Ages, you loon!  
If you're the Black Knight, I'll be leaving you with more than just a flesh wound.

**Penelope:**  
You've made it clear you hold yourself in very high esteem…  
But I'm convinced you've slept with every other member of your team.  
You can go ahead and call me a back–stabbing bitch.  
I really don't care; I'm brilliant, powerful and rich!  
My crimes will slip right through the cracks in your feeble little mind.  
I'm smarter than you and all your ranger friends combined!  
The bottom line is this: I'm a _real_ genius, you're not.  
You build contraptions from garbage while I construct giant robots!  
Consider this, Gadget: _I invented freaking time travel_!  
On a whim, I could make your whole existence unravel.  
Or, if you prefer, I could alternatively prove my might  
By blowing your puny Ranger Wing to bits in a dogfight!  
In a pirate sword duel, I'd take you down gently…  
…By which I mean I'd leave you more crippled than Bentley!  
It's hard to choose among the many ways in which I could own you.  
I've looked you up; it's clear that all your fans just want to bone you.

**Gadget:**  
Stop. Right. There. I am on the very verge of R.A.G.E.  
You must have more brain damage than Phineas Gage!  
And if you're a pirate, then you're worse than those guys in Somalia.  
And that yellow jumpsuit; who do you think you are, April O'Neyla?!  
It's like you're going out of your way to seem unsympathetic.  
Here's some serious advice: say _something_ apologetic!  
I'm giving you one last chance: back off, or by golly,  
I'll string you up and hang you out to dry like Sir Raleigh!

**Penelope:**  
You know what? Fine. I'll say it: I regret what I've done…  
…But don't you start thinking that this means you've won!  
Evil or not, I'm still ten times a bigger genius than you.  
I'm the very best this side of Emmet Brown at what I do!  
My machines will change the world; yours belong at a science fair:  
Their success rate is less consistent than the color of your hair!  
Again, I have _freaking time travel_, so keep your 2x4 tech,  
Because it's gonna get _wrecked_ in this duel of mice and mechs!

**WHO WON?**  
**WHO'S NE–**  
_(*Record Scratch, music stops, screen goes black*)_  
**Inspector Gadget:** Go–Go–Gadget beat!  
_(*Completely different music, derived from the theme of a certain cartoon, starts up*)_

**Penny:**  
I've been watching you two, and I just _had_ to step in.  
Both of you vermin can scram, because I'm hacking this transmission.  
This battle isn't over, so don't you dare touch that "back" switch.  
You wanted Penelope and Gadget? Well, I'm **Penny Gadget**, bitch!  
If you obscure losers plan on trying to best me with your raps,  
Then you better Look Out for my verbal mousetrap!  
Try to strike back against this prodigal ace,  
And I'll send your words back at you, where they'll blow up in your face!  
All your talk of your contraptions is driving me M.A.D.  
Keep your fictional junk; I made the very first iPad!  
As long as I'm here, Penelope, you can forget about crime,  
Because just like Dr. Claw, I'll stop you every single time!  
And Hackwrench, on your heroics: you can also forget it.  
I'll solve all your puny problems, _and_ take all the credit!  
I don't need Brain _or_ my uncle to beat you!  
I'm human, you're rodents; you're no match for my _shoe_.

**Um… it's actually over now, right? Okay, good.**  
**WHO WON?**  
**WHO'S NEXT?**  
**I DECIDE!**  
**MOLEMAN'S EP–IC RAP–RAP–RAP–RAP BATTLES, EP–IC RAP BAT–TLES, DOOT DOOT!**


End file.
